Saturday, April 17, 2004
AND
HOW DO YOU WIPE YOURS?
This blog is in two parts, because one thing triggered off the other, and to be honest I now do not know which came first, they sort of intermingled I think, which, for the psychologists amongst you, probably says a lot about me.... tell me something I don't know, and I might listen.
You might remember an earlier blog entry about our trip to Madrid, well that was in effect our first step towards stopping smoking, sounds silly? Well its not that silly really, basically cigarettes cost a lot less in spain than they do here, and so our plan was that, whilst on holiday in Madrid we would buy some cigarettes to bring back with us ... with me so far? The plan then being that once they were finished we would not buy any more. So in effect we havent bought any cigarettes in this country, since before we went to madrid, which actually, I am surprised to say has been quite liberating, not having to make sure theres money left for fags, not having to queue up for them, which sometimes takes forever, especially on giro days, not thinking 'chit I have to put on some clothes and run round to the shop before it closes, so that i am not left smoking dogends in the morning'... and it doesn't feel like we are wasting our money on fags. (at the moment its paying for the trip to madrid, but we will then be saving that money to go somewhere else .. so there is our incentive). Well thats a good enough incentive for me, but what others are there?
Of course there are health benefits, and yep most smokers know about them, we all know smoking is bad for us but we still do it. Infact theres no disputing that we are made aware of the health risks everytime we have a cigarette, printed in great big letters are things that say SMOKING KILLS, or SMOKING CAUSES IMPOTENCE, and many more things.But what other things can I look forward to..... besides knowing I won't be smelling like an ashtray, well maybe I will become one of those ex smokers that get on your nerves, coughing and spluttering to make a point if anyone lights up, sucking my teeth and moaning if I am in 100 meters range of cigarette smoke.
You might now be asking where this post is going, I myself am thinking the same, I seem to have got lost somewhere.
OOh yes, so we are giving up smoking, pretty soon infact, sometime next week I think it is!!! So prepare for some mood swings and anything else I can attribute to stopping smoking.I can't say I always enjoy smoking, but there are some cigarettes I enjoy, maybe not the cigarette itself, but the moment. Like chilling after eating, the one before bed, the first one in the morning..which for smokers is often their daily regulator(which links in to the second part of this post). As we don't smoke inside the house, here, we pop into the garden for a ciggie, in winter thats not too pleasant, but in spring, summer and autumn, its usually really nice, especially the early morning one or the ones in the evening, when its quiet and still, giving me chance to just chill out and think about things, or indeed think about nothing.
This morning I was outside when I realised something that I might miss when I stop smoking, and it was that time in the garden. There I was, innocently smoking my lungs out, taking in the morning air with a few mouthfuls of nicotine and other poisons, listening to the birds singing , almost drowning out my coughing and hacking, the bright morning light stinging my eyes as I blink the smoke from them… and I looked up … and yes, regular as clockwork… there was the guy in the house opposite, whose back garden borders with ours, whose bathroom window is opposite ours, whose toilet is by the window in the bathroom opposite ours, whose window blind is never closed, who has frosted glass in the window by the toilet, who does not realise that the frosted glass doesn’t really make it impossible to see inside, because I think if he did realise, he wouldn’t go for a poo in the morning without any clothes on. Now I don’t exactly stand for hours watching the antics of the people opposite, but it has come to my attention that some people do some strange things on the toilet, brush their teeth, roll copious amounts of toilet paper around their hands….. goodness knows how this in actually works when wiping, I am sure the amount rolled is far too thick to effectively wipe .. of course you need to make sure you have enough, or your finger will go through it, but there is also the case for too much. Its also been possible to observe different wiping techniques, the sit and wipe method, the sit wipe look, dispose and flush, the stand up and wipe, the stand up turn round look for a few minutes wipe and then flush, and what I am still trying to work out is the guy who seemingly was doing a yoga pose, or attempting a handstand from sitting, this must have been a technique for pleasure, because it didn’t look at all practical to me, but I also cannot work out what pleasure was gained. Pooing can be as enjoyable as a cigarette, satisfying with a feel good factor, it can also be a pain, constipation is no fun, and on the other extreme neither are the trots. But I won’t go into that for now, its too close to home, and even thinking about it fills me with fear and dread… hehehe..
Do you wipe front to back? Back to front ( all females should be saying no to this one), Do you do front to back and back to front? Do you check the paper to see if you’re clean,? Do you look down the toilet to see what you have done? Do you check after to see if its all gone? Do you get someone else to wipe it for you? Do you neatly fold your tissue or just screw it round and use it??
You can click here to take part in a very quick survey about wiping .
From research it seems that how we wipe and how other people wipe can have an influence on us ... I came across this quote Am I wiping right?
I recently saw a character on TV wiping his bum differently than I had ever done in my life. This perplexed me and got me to wondering if I was doing it right. This led to other questions about how normal I am as well.
you can read more about it by clicking here
For anyone having problems wiping, for whatever reason, this site might help BottomWiper.com
Well. I think its time for a cigarette now, so I will leave you to contemplate your toilet habits, whilst I consider mine.
# posted by gilly @ 4/17/2004 03:21:00 PM 
PEZZIE
