Saturday, January 31, 2004
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
I mean whats that all about then, and what was the cake doing outside, I can't see that it was an accident that it by chance got left out in the rain. It seems to me it was put there on purpose. Or were they having a little tea and cake party outside, and came in cos it was cloudy, but someone left the cake out. And where was the recipe from, and where has it gone????
Friday, January 30, 2004
Is it just me, or do you ever hear a song and thing huh??? whats that about? or huh??? who thought that was a cool lyric?
As yet I haven't researched and made a list of many such lyrics, but for now here are a couple, worth mentioning.
The first one may well be meaningful, but I havent found a translation yet.
A Ram Sam Sam A Ram Sam Sam
Gooli Gooli Gooli Gooli Ram Sam Sam
Aï kaï aï yeepee aï kaï yeah
Ahoo ahoo A di ditchi*!
Wordy Rappinghood Tom Tom Club
The second is , well, I will let you think of it as you will
bllllllll OOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOooooooowhee um bumbawee
A wimawe
A wimawe
wimawe
wimawe
wimawe
etc
Thursday, January 29, 2004
So you see people say the stupidiest things, for some strange reason.
Like only yesterday someone said to me don't be a stranger. Well, as I thought about that, I thought fer feks sake how do i do that, I was in town today, I said hello to everyone I passed, they must have thought I was odd, cos noone said hello back, so my attempts to not be a stranger, were futile. So like it or not, youre always gonna be a stranger.
And on the subject of strangers..... what twat ever said Strangers are just friends waiting to happen,??????????/ cos yeah well that may be true in some cases, but what about the flip side, strangers are just waiting in the alley to mug you or rob your house????
And whilst I am at it..... whats all this about Some of the best things in life are free.... well yeah thats true, but some other things are too.... whens the last time you sent anyone a congratulations card for getting gangrene or gout or diarrhoea?
See, we do say some silly things
Like only yesterday someone said to me don't be a stranger. Well, as I thought about that, I thought fer feks sake how do i do that, I was in town today, I said hello to everyone I passed, they must have thought I was odd, cos noone said hello back, so my attempts to not be a stranger, were futile. So like it or not, youre always gonna be a stranger.
And on the subject of strangers..... what twat ever said Strangers are just friends waiting to happen,??????????/ cos yeah well that may be true in some cases, but what about the flip side, strangers are just waiting in the alley to mug you or rob your house????
And whilst I am at it..... whats all this about Some of the best things in life are free.... well yeah thats true, but some other things are too.... whens the last time you sent anyone a congratulations card for getting gangrene or gout or diarrhoea?
See, we do say some silly things
Meaning
An exclamation of surprise - one of the many euphemisms that avoid the use of the word God.
Origin
James Gordon Bennet II, 1841 - 1918 is the man referred to, and was quite a colourful character. One of his many reported exploits was an incident where he flew an aeroplane through an open barn. The surprised onlookers were supposed to have said 'That was Gordon Bennett!', and hence onward to the current shortened phrase. Became popular again during the 1980s but is again falling out of use.
Gordon Bennett expl. "Gordon Bennett" is an expletive, used very much in the one-liner context of things like "Bollocks!" Its source lies in the mid-19th century at the feet of James Gordon Bennett, son of the founder of the New York Herald and Associated Press (also called Gordon Bennett, in case you thought this was going to be simple). Born with cash to spare, Gordon Jr. became legendary for high-roller stunts and fits of notariety including urinating in his in-laws' fireplace, and burning money in public. His name entered the lexicon as a term of exclamation for anything a bit over the top.
and I know I heard something about Gordon Bennett and a tablecloth in a restaurant, but I can't find it ......GORDON BENNETT!!!
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
When looking for something that is lost
"Why is it always in the last place you look?"
Don't be fekkin silly, or do you carry on looking after you found it?
Monday, January 26, 2004
Well, I said I would keep an eye out for wrongly written screen names in chat, I saw two last week that made me smile
Yahoo! ID: borkenheart_borkenheart
What becomes of the borken hearted lalala, too many borken hearts lalala
But by far the best one this week has to be this one, who I came across(so to speak, not literally) In an adult, women only chatroom, drum roll, wait for it ....
Yahoo! ID: missy_masterbatter_69
Of course I could be mistaken, and maybe it is a champion cricketer, perhaps so, but on looking at the profile, I see no evidence of any cricket paraphenalia, more likely to be a jockey from the picture.
Well I have seen masturbate spelt many different ways, but that one has to be the most amusing.
Yahoo! ID: borkenheart_borkenheart
What becomes of the borken hearted lalala, too many borken hearts lalala
But by far the best one this week has to be this one, who I came across(so to speak, not literally) In an adult, women only chatroom, drum roll, wait for it ....
Yahoo! ID: missy_masterbatter_69
Of course I could be mistaken, and maybe it is a champion cricketer, perhaps so, but on looking at the profile, I see no evidence of any cricket paraphenalia, more likely to be a jockey from the picture.
Well I have seen masturbate spelt many different ways, but that one has to be the most amusing.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
We find our dynamic duo in the midst of a great battle, one that is causing great concern, at first the caped duo were confident. "This is the work of ALLERGY" asserted Nivea Man. zapping into action Hydro Cortisone was called on the salve line. This is a job for you comrade, said Nivea Man. Hydro was there in a flash of light, and ready for battle. "OH NO NIVEA! This is the work of a more powerful agent, my powers of cleansing and hypoallergenic qualities are no match for this one. We need reinforcements!!!"
Nivea Man and Lip Salve Boy looked aghast. KAZAAAAAAMMMMMM Suffering Pustules!!!!
We need help. We must rush to the Medical Cabinet and enlist the help of the expert Dr Spot.
The quickly transported deep into the depths of the cabinet, finding Dr Spot hard at work preparing lecture notes and a seminar on the newest threat to hit the epidermis and beyond. Public Enemy Number One.
WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP IT!!!! pleaded Nivea Man. Perplexed DrSpot looked at him, "We have to stop it at its source, bash the breeding grounds"
Dear Earth
For feks sake stop dumping your crap on our planet.
Your's Faithfully
A. Martian
Coming soon, a very tricky case for Nivea man and LipSalveBoy
Thursday, January 22, 2004
yeah but no but yeah but no but theres this whole other thing wot you don't even no about so SHURRUP! u SHURRUP! and my mate ses i'm a lezza but dont listen to er cos she smokes fags and she's into sims so SHAP u!
yeah but like no but I aint saying nuffin but you know my mate yeah like she has got the sims like and she is doing things , i dinya do nuffin like its her you cant say it isnt cos she has like got these families and she is making them do thinks like yano, she is burning them alive and I mean one woman like is coming home from work you know and seeing her husbands ashes, and she hadnt had a dirty thought all day, and so like she is crying yano but like yeah but she cant cry you know worramean cos she is busy like finding out her daughter is in bootcamp like and she didnt even do anything with that boy at the sports hall, like ya know she couldnt have cos she didnt catch the bus and yaknow what do you mean I didnt do anything, oh shut up.
and sites of the day
I thought I would enlighten you about this tv show, cos I think its funny, even though I usually forget to watch it. Its a documentary of sorts, well really its a comedy sketch show taking the piss out of people, or stereotyping different types of people, funnily, or maybe sadly, I think even though it is exagerated, it is very true, I am sure many can identify with some of the characters.
"Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, I never done nuffin! Stop giving me the evils"
Anyone having anything to do with the youth of today, will undoubtidly have come across someone like Vicky Pollard.
Lou and Andy
Herby City, in the Midlands, is a minefield of grotty pubs, grotty swimming pools and food shops called 'supermarkets'. Here you’ll find a fine specimen of the caring British male. Lou is a 'helper' and spends his days helping his wheelchair-bound friend, Andy, who’s grumpy and monosyllabic. Andy, however, is not all that he seems. When he wants to, he is quite able to walk, climb and even dive - something to which Lou is oblivious.
Andy is one of my favourite characters, he sort of reminds me of the chap who lives next door to my mum and dad.
Marjorie Dawes and the Fat Fighters
"Until a law is passed to imprison fat people, the gluttons of Britain are free to walk the streets and attend special diet classes like this one."
The Crisps Diet
sounds like my kinda diet.
Lose weight ask marjorie how
some more little britain links for you to look at, if you want, so you might have a clue what I am blogging about , if in the future I slip into one of the characters. hehehe
BBC 3 Little Britain
Character Gallery
yeah but no but yeah but I din do nuffin, yeah but she said but he is but or shurrup!!!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
or maybe even longer cos these are just brill!!!!
I must be really sad because it made my day when I was given a link to what has to be one of my all time favourite t.v. adverts. For some strange reason, I think it absolutely brilliant.
SEE IT FOR YOURSELF HERE
So anyways being given the link prompted me to have a look in google for some other things and I found this long list of cartoons that are similar, actually I am a bit surprised I hadn't come across them before.
If you like the commercials, then I think you will like these,
Now something different, I came online expecting to see an entry on my mate's blogger ... storm in a teacup...but there isn't one!!! She borrowed the Sims game the other day, and apart from having one child sent off to military camp, a husband burn to death in a kitchen fire cos he couldnt cook, his wife dying of depression cos she didn't have time to be sad about her losses, apart from all that and more sims mishaps, she has neglected her blog. I will have words about this though :P!!!!
Well I hope you enjoy the links, if you don't well, there's not really much I can do about it, is there, hehehe.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Ever fancied being the next picasso, or is Mr Potato head as far as you get?
This site is a neat way of passing five minutes, if you're stuck for something to do.
Give it a try... click here
have fun.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
It was nightfall on planet Dermatology, our two heroes, Nivea Man and his little buddy LipSalveBoy, sit quietly in thebathroom cabinet.
SUDDENLY, a shriek is heard, jumping up they look at each other ......... in horror their mouths drop open, "jumping coldsores LipSalve Boy, DRYFLAKEY strikes again." This is a job for Nivea Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM with a quick twist Nivea Man was quick on the case,smearing his arch rival DRYFLAKEY with lotion, a smooth, incredible fresh, hypoallergenic lotion, meant for external use only, but its outward softness makes DRYFLAKEY no match for its deep penetrative abilities.
Within seconds our hero over throws the irritant DRYFLAKEY, and returns to the cabinet, where he is congratulated by LipSalveBoy, the cabinet door closed, they celebrate in super hero, stockinged men style...however that may be.
Through the toilet flush communication pipe, word is out that arch enemies and villains PSORIASIS,ECZEMA,CHAPPEDLIP, COLDSORE,AND THE EVIL SUNBURN, are heading this way.
watch out for further adventures with NIVEA MAN and LIPSALVEBOY.
SUDDENLY, a shriek is heard, jumping up they look at each other ......... in horror their mouths drop open, "jumping coldsores LipSalve Boy, DRYFLAKEY strikes again." This is a job for Nivea Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM with a quick twist Nivea Man was quick on the case,smearing his arch rival DRYFLAKEY with lotion, a smooth, incredible fresh, hypoallergenic lotion, meant for external use only, but its outward softness makes DRYFLAKEY no match for its deep penetrative abilities.
Within seconds our hero over throws the irritant DRYFLAKEY, and returns to the cabinet, where he is congratulated by LipSalveBoy, the cabinet door closed, they celebrate in super hero, stockinged men style...however that may be.
Through the toilet flush communication pipe, word is out that arch enemies and villains PSORIASIS,ECZEMA,CHAPPEDLIP, COLDSORE,AND THE EVIL SUNBURN, are heading this way.
watch out for further adventures with NIVEA MAN and LIPSALVEBOY.
The other day I went into that well known so called fast food establishment, macdonalds, for a banana milkshake, like you do. I was surprised to see a row of computers, and notices saying you can surf the web from there. When I asked my friend, if they had macdonalds cyber cafes in canada, she said "Whatever next, they will be having them in the shitter next".
Well look right here, Sounds good doesnt it, hehehe, I kinda like to read on the toilet, so bing able to knock up a few emails would be a change, not sure I would like to know if someone had sent me an email whilst doing a bob... but hey ho.
On further researching this I came across this site.
I am sure though that it will only be a matter of time before it happens.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
NIVEA MAN and his side kick LIPSALVE BOY
Watch out for exciting adventures of our cloaked heroes, Nivea man and Lipsalve Boy, as they wage a fight against unsightly rashes, rough skin and chapped lips.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
I have spent quite a bit of time online, and have come across lots of people, some who are very friendly, accepting and accomodating, and some who have no tact, or no concept of how, what they says may affect others. There are also those who are never wrong... just because they say so.
If you have spent any time online and in chatrooms, you will be aware that as well as typing like this, there is a set of phrases that would mean nothing to those outside of chatspace..... well maybe those who use mobile phone texts would also know.. things such as LOL meaning laughing out loud, BRB meaning be right back, the list is endless. These tend to be used when you need to put up a response quickly,but then there are others that really grate on me .... you know like , when someone sends a message and says hru?Well of course I know what it means but for frigs sake, can't they just type how are you..... and using u and 4 in sentences , well it smacks a bit of laziness to me.How much time and energy are you saving by typing u instead of you.
Generally speaking most people seem able to make themselves understood, some use complex sentence structure and conversation, others are more simplified. And as yet I have to find anyone who hasn't made a typing error at some point. There are some though, that think chatrooms are english classes, and make a huge point of pointing out errors in grammer and spelling. This annoys me, to me ot shows a lack of understanding, a better than you attitude, an air of superiority, and more than a hint of patronising and humiliating. There are many reasons why someone's use of language may not be 'university' level( maybe the typer does not have english as a first language, maybe they have dyslexia, they may have had different life chances which may have affected their education, etc etc). So please spare a thought, and think twice before you say something that could humiliate and hurt someone, who may be making a massive effort to do what they are doing in the chatroom.
All this aside though, and maybe it makes me a hypocrite, but I find it amusing at times when names are written wrong.... I mean when you are creating a screen name, don't you look and check its right before you carry on registering it :P
This is the one that never fails to amuse me, firstly because he fails to understand women only, lesbian chatrooms, are not really meant for men, but his name conjours up some real images for me.
Sub Sissy Slave Boy uk salve boy
What on earth is a salve boy, makes me think of a super hero... like Nivea Man and salve boy the cloaked heroes. Rummaging round in ther tights for a tube of savlon or something to save the world from chapped and dry skin.
hmmmmmmmm maybe I could write an episode of Nivea Man and salve boy to the rescue.I will have a think about it.
If you have spent any time online and in chatrooms, you will be aware that as well as typing like this, there is a set of phrases that would mean nothing to those outside of chatspace..... well maybe those who use mobile phone texts would also know.. things such as LOL meaning laughing out loud, BRB meaning be right back, the list is endless. These tend to be used when you need to put up a response quickly,but then there are others that really grate on me .... you know like , when someone sends a message and says hru?Well of course I know what it means but for frigs sake, can't they just type how are you..... and using u and 4 in sentences , well it smacks a bit of laziness to me.How much time and energy are you saving by typing u instead of you.
Generally speaking most people seem able to make themselves understood, some use complex sentence structure and conversation, others are more simplified. And as yet I have to find anyone who hasn't made a typing error at some point. There are some though, that think chatrooms are english classes, and make a huge point of pointing out errors in grammer and spelling. This annoys me, to me ot shows a lack of understanding, a better than you attitude, an air of superiority, and more than a hint of patronising and humiliating. There are many reasons why someone's use of language may not be 'university' level( maybe the typer does not have english as a first language, maybe they have dyslexia, they may have had different life chances which may have affected their education, etc etc). So please spare a thought, and think twice before you say something that could humiliate and hurt someone, who may be making a massive effort to do what they are doing in the chatroom.
All this aside though, and maybe it makes me a hypocrite, but I find it amusing at times when names are written wrong.... I mean when you are creating a screen name, don't you look and check its right before you carry on registering it :P
This is the one that never fails to amuse me, firstly because he fails to understand women only, lesbian chatrooms, are not really meant for men, but his name conjours up some real images for me.
What on earth is a salve boy, makes me think of a super hero... like Nivea Man and salve boy the cloaked heroes. Rummaging round in ther tights for a tube of savlon or something to save the world from chapped and dry skin.
hmmmmmmmm maybe I could write an episode of Nivea Man and salve boy to the rescue.I will have a think about it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
my tag board has gone on a short vacation, until it learns to behave itself.
Well blogger has been being a bugger, bugger blogger, what can I say.
My friend from her storm in the teacup says that my blogger still looks messed up on her puter, and that my links and things are right down at the bottom. But it looks ok to me, on my puter, and on another puter. So if it looks messed up to anyone, well I do apologise, but dont know how to fix it, because it looks fine to me...
Look I even took a picture to show you :P
My friend from her storm in the teacup says that my blogger still looks messed up on her puter, and that my links and things are right down at the bottom. But it looks ok to me, on my puter, and on another puter. So if it looks messed up to anyone, well I do apologise, but dont know how to fix it, because it looks fine to me...
Look I even took a picture to show you :P
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
I'll tell you something for nothing, not that I charge for anything I tell you, but blogger has been doing my head in. Yesterday and today, my links and things have been all over the place, at one time it lost them completely.Well, fingers crossed I have sorted it out now, but I did think I had done that last night, only to find they had been rejiggled again.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Well I have come to the conclusion that it isn't easy being something that you're not.Especially when everyone else see's you as what you really are and not what you think you are. All in all I think it is best to just be yourself. I don't mean don't have ambitions, don't stop having things you want to improve on and things like that, just don't waste time , yours and other people's, pretending to be something youre not. Well not indefinitely, I guess its ok to fool about and have a laugh, maybe a bit of role play, as long as its not decieving yourself or anyone else, and noones getting hurt.
I think, deception is easier online, there are many people who chat online and for whatever reasons create different personas, some are harmless, some are fun, some are outright deceptions, and sometimes people get hurt in the process.
For me, being a fairy isn't all its cracked up to be :P, so I will stick to being just me, maybe with little episodes of fairy dust sprinkled about for good measure.
In the meantime I am going to collect little snippets from chatrooms that I find amusing for one reason or another, here is one for today, it needs no commentry.
beaner09us: Hello I'm a 1 inch tall girl does anyone wanna pick me up and torture me?
well have a good day, I am going to think of 101 things you could use a 1inch person for.
I think, deception is easier online, there are many people who chat online and for whatever reasons create different personas, some are harmless, some are fun, some are outright deceptions, and sometimes people get hurt in the process.
For me, being a fairy isn't all its cracked up to be :P, so I will stick to being just me, maybe with little episodes of fairy dust sprinkled about for good measure.
In the meantime I am going to collect little snippets from chatrooms that I find amusing for one reason or another, here is one for today, it needs no commentry.
well have a good day, I am going to think of 101 things you could use a 1inch person for.
click the camel to go there
Saturday, January 10, 2004
I chased the 'frog', I mean followed for quite some distance, he kept quickening his pace and looking over is shoulder, and doing a rather strange beckoning with one finger, his middle finger. I knew that this must mean it was imprtant for me to keep up with him. He hopped quickly between people in the street and I was worried, my dampened wings might slow me down, and that I would get lost. People began to step to the side as I fluttered my wings faster.
Suddenly the frog stopped behind a crowd of people, they were all fiddling with some kind of tokens in their hands. I kept the frog in sight, staying close to him, something had agitated him and he was swearing a little, and causing people to turn round. I hoped that they were friendly, and even that they wouldn't notice me being so small, but they did appear to stare at me. They were standing round some sort of monument, a tall metal stick protruding from the floor, with a symbol on it, it must have been something very importnat the way everyone was gathered round. I think the tokens were some sort of offering to whatever the monument was for.
I soon found out, "about time" everyone said in unison, and from the right, a huge metalic creature, resembling the one on the monument came to a stop in front of us, opening a huge hole on the side of it. One by one the devotees who had been waiting, stepped inside, and appeared to give their offering to a human figure, who in return gave them some sort of coded piece of paper.
I floated by, only to feel my wings get pulled, and the human creature said sternly" oi luv, thats 76pence" I had no clue what this language meant, he continued" if you aren't going to pay, get off, I am late already" . The frog was already inside the creature, and was mumbling"thank fook for that", as I found myself back outside, by the monument alone, watching the strange creature, close its side, and move off.
to be continued
Suddenly the frog stopped behind a crowd of people, they were all fiddling with some kind of tokens in their hands. I kept the frog in sight, staying close to him, something had agitated him and he was swearing a little, and causing people to turn round. I hoped that they were friendly, and even that they wouldn't notice me being so small, but they did appear to stare at me. They were standing round some sort of monument, a tall metal stick protruding from the floor, with a symbol on it, it must have been something very importnat the way everyone was gathered round. I think the tokens were some sort of offering to whatever the monument was for.
I soon found out, "about time" everyone said in unison, and from the right, a huge metalic creature, resembling the one on the monument came to a stop in front of us, opening a huge hole on the side of it. One by one the devotees who had been waiting, stepped inside, and appeared to give their offering to a human figure, who in return gave them some sort of coded piece of paper.
I floated by, only to feel my wings get pulled, and the human creature said sternly" oi luv, thats 76pence" I had no clue what this language meant, he continued" if you aren't going to pay, get off, I am late already" . The frog was already inside the creature, and was mumbling"thank fook for that", as I found myself back outside, by the monument alone, watching the strange creature, close its side, and move off.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Just click on the camel, to visit Gordon's blog.
The link is at the side as well.
Don't fret, the fairy tale will continue.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
I manage to find the cigarette shop, you know the shop that sells cigarettes, not a shop made out of a cigarette, I managed to locate it without drawing too much attention to myself. But how was I going to get in, I mean, its one of those doors on a spring, so it shuts behind you, not letting the heat out., and me, I must only be a few centimeters tall, if even that. I must be tiny, noone noticed how I looked, so I think they just didnt see me. I hovered about by the door, waiting for someone to go in or out,that way I could just flit past and get inside. A couple of people now seemed to notice me whilst hovering by the door, they stared at me as they walked by, so I tried to edge myself back to the door frame out of site. I heard someone mutter something, but I think the wind distirted what they said, because it sounded like " Look at that frikken nutter, is she about to rob the shop or what?" It was getting cold, and my umbrella was getting heavier with the rain, and was beginning to droop. It wasn't very effective now, I had to get into the shop, into the warmth, and into somewhere dry.I looked down at my feet, which were now looking a bit swollen around the tight laces, and were going a little mottled and purple, rather like how my legs used to look when we played hockey at school in the gales and snow. It was then I felt a big rush of warm air, and then heard a slamming noise, not before I heard a gruff voice growling, "Bloody loon get outta my way". I realised I had missed my chance to get in the shop, and I knew not how long I would have to wait for another chance.
It was then I decided this was a futile mission, I needed a sign, I waved my wand for inspiration. "Watch my friggin eye!!!!!!" someone in a green kagoul shouted, but when I looked back what I saw was something very different, it was a little green frog, who appeared to be telling me to follow him. This must be the sign, I dropped my umbrella, and began to follow the frog, he kept turning round and muttering under his breath, I couldn't tell what he was saying but he did seem to have a sense of urgency in his voice.
Good morning, and a happy morning it is, I have just been sprinkling fairy dust all over everything that moves,(although I am not quite sure what fairy dust does). I think however it does something magical. I sprinkled some on a tiny tiny orange caterpillar, and look what happened.
The silly thing won't leave me alone now, its been following me about all morning.
He,( and I use the term he loosely, I have no clue what gender the wormy thing is), mumbled something about a banshee, and beware. Well I haven't time for listening to gossip and tittle tattle, I have things to do.
I tried to open the front door, only to find that it was far too heavy for me, even if I could reach the handle, so I flew through the key hole. it was then I started to wonder, why there was a flippin orange caterpillar in the house.
IT'S SPITTING!!!!!!!!
No not the caterpillar, the weather, it's spitting, that fine rain that gets you all wet, my hair will frizz up in this, and ooooooooh what about my wings. More concerned about the fine rain, I failed to notice, that on emerging through the other side of the key hole, I was no longer in a row of quaint old terrace houses, but somehow I had found myself in a fairy woodland.
Hovering through the blades of grass, kicking my feet up to stop my lovely pink shoes getting scuffed, I flitted towards a sunflower, who was smiling at me. Of course I never questioned how strange this was. I just took the leaf she was offering me and used it as an umbrella. In return I waved my wand and watched the fairy dust sprinkle over the sunflower.
Not having to worry about getting my electric blue nylonlike hair wet, I suddenly became aware of what I was going out for. I needed fags, cigarettes for those who think I was on the hunt for gay men.(besides fag in that usage is kinda derogatory and I don't use it).
Hmmmm theres no knowing where the shop is, aha a portal of some kind, between the trees, wavering lines and a humming sound, bit like the onset of a migraine. I dashed through it, and found myself in the familiar surroundings of my street. Busy with people walking to and from the shops and work. Noone seemed to notice my odd attire, or my blue hair, but I was now conscious of how short my skirt was. I flew amongst a few people, ducking and diving through their umbrellas, holding on tight to my leaf umbrella, and looking down , the orange caterpillar was hot in pursuit.
" fags fags fags thats what I need.
To be continued......
The silly thing won't leave me alone now, its been following me about all morning.
He,( and I use the term he loosely, I have no clue what gender the wormy thing is), mumbled something about a banshee, and beware. Well I haven't time for listening to gossip and tittle tattle, I have things to do.
I tried to open the front door, only to find that it was far too heavy for me, even if I could reach the handle, so I flew through the key hole. it was then I started to wonder, why there was a flippin orange caterpillar in the house.
No not the caterpillar, the weather, it's spitting, that fine rain that gets you all wet, my hair will frizz up in this, and ooooooooh what about my wings. More concerned about the fine rain, I failed to notice, that on emerging through the other side of the key hole, I was no longer in a row of quaint old terrace houses, but somehow I had found myself in a fairy woodland.
Hovering through the blades of grass, kicking my feet up to stop my lovely pink shoes getting scuffed, I flitted towards a sunflower, who was smiling at me. Of course I never questioned how strange this was. I just took the leaf she was offering me and used it as an umbrella. In return I waved my wand and watched the fairy dust sprinkle over the sunflower.
Not having to worry about getting my electric blue nylonlike hair wet, I suddenly became aware of what I was going out for. I needed fags, cigarettes for those who think I was on the hunt for gay men.(besides fag in that usage is kinda derogatory and I don't use it).
Hmmmm theres no knowing where the shop is, aha a portal of some kind, between the trees, wavering lines and a humming sound, bit like the onset of a migraine. I dashed through it, and found myself in the familiar surroundings of my street. Busy with people walking to and from the shops and work. Noone seemed to notice my odd attire, or my blue hair, but I was now conscious of how short my skirt was. I flew amongst a few people, ducking and diving through their umbrellas, holding on tight to my leaf umbrella, and looking down , the orange caterpillar was hot in pursuit.
" fags fags fags thats what I need.
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
When I first ventured into chatrooms, online, I came across someone who it apeared believed she was a character from lord of the rings, since then I have come across people who think, or rather act in chatrooms, as though they are kittens, dogs, theres even guys pretending to be women, you come across allsorts of things. My friend even told me about someone she chatted to who believed she was a fairy.Some of these people are a real pain in the ass, just typing and answering woof woof all the time, but others are really amusing and entertaining, the better ones having taken time and a lot of imagination to create websites and such that depict 'their world'.... I call it imagination, it may be dellusions, or even drug induced.
Well much to my surprise something strange happened this morning. I woke with a funny taste in my mouth, and was rather cold, which I realised was because I was not under the covers of the bed, just propped up on the cushion when I woke up. I found it a little strange that I had to climb up to sit on the toilet, and felt a little unsteady whilst sat on it. I also noticed that on going to brush my teeth, I was already holding something in my hand, a strange object, not sure where it came from, and then, having brushed my teeth, I did my usual look in the mirror to see how bad my bed head was .............. and oh my.......... sprinkling stardust something had happened........ this is what I saw
WTF!!! I had been complaining for days that my ankle was hurting me, now I knew why, I had been developing elephantitis and those flipping little pink ballet shoes wouldn't have helped, those ribbon ties look like theyre really going to cut into my flesh.I have turned into a fairy. This is me, I am not sure how long it will last, it may wear off pretty soon, however I may never be able to release my feet from those shoes.
I need to go read up about what fairies eat and things like that, stay tuned for my fairy dust diaries.
I just came across this link and thought you might like it .... go look at the kenny cam here.
or revisit your favourite hangover here ... virtual hangover or you can even have an online confessional
or revisit your favourite hangover here ... virtual hangover or you can even have an online confessional
Monday, January 05, 2004
This brings me nicely onto the other reason I didnt get chance to write in here yesterday. It was my partner's mum's birthday, and a surprise party had been arranged. Not a disco thingy, was more of a gathering, quiet chilled music, people, food, vol au vents, and lots of people who I hadnt met, or didnt know. Was the sort of place where you didnt have to wear your glitzy disco boob tube, or your cocktail dress, but non the less you wanted to make an effort and look respectable and presentable. So I had a shower, got out my new, never been worn shirt, in the colour that suits me :P, and off we go. I noticed first of all when I put it on, that it was a little stiff, starch I thought, lots of new things are a bit stiff, or not quite as loose as they should be, but it was ok, it looked ok. Clothes never feel quite the same when they have been washed, not like that crisp new clothes feeling.... but I guess you have to not think about which sweaty mingers might have tried the clothes on in the shop...lets not hold that thought... in the car, the seat belt made the collar really irritating, and I was kind of conscious of it most of the night, and fiddled a bit with it in the mirror to make sure it looked alright, even if it felt like I had a bit of wood round my neck. The night went well, in fact it was brilliant.
When we got home I couldn't wait to rip my clothes off and put on my pjs. Thats when it happened. I unbuttoned the shirt and started to take it off , and something fell out onto the floor, it scared the chit out of me, I thought maybe everyone had been hiding the vol au vents in my shirt all night.
To my horror, when I looked down, mouth wide open, heart racing, clammy palms touching my thighs as my fingertips dug into my fleash, I looked down, and there it was, I was rivetted to the spot, unable to move, horror struck, mortified. Taking a deep breath, I slowly bent down, and carefully picked it up between my finger and thumb, and lifted it up so I could see it. This thing that caused such horror, and annoyance, the flipping cardboard strip that the packers put under shirt collars for protection or something!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF I had had that frikken thing in the back of my shirt allllllllllllll night!!!!!!!!! So you see by the time I pulled myself together, and managed to stop laughing, it was far too late to come online.
That leads me onto another puzzling thought, what really is the significance of the bit of card they put under the collar of shirts before you buy them????
This and other rivetting questions will be addressed right here. Stay tuned.
Friday, January 02, 2004
Fannie Merritt Farmer wrote about them in 1918 in the Boston Cooking School Cook Book. I doubt you will want to, but just incase, you can read more about this here
Read just what she said about them right here
The thing that is puzzling me though, and what I have been wondering about is, what is the point of a vol au vent, tiny pastry cup things that have various fillings, that as time goes on , looks more and more congealed, are they really necessary? Are they worth the effort that seemingly goes into making them. You dont get more than one bite out of them, because if you dare to try and nibble or bite it, you get covered in the filling and have bits of flakey pastry down your top, you always, always get a bit stuck on your lip too, and if not careful some in your front tooth, and that doesn't look attractive. This is more problematic when we realise that vol au vents tend to be eaten in public, theyre not the sort of thing you snack infront of the tv with, wearing your pjs. So who invented them, and why? Who is it that wants us to embarass ourselves in public, maybe at important events? More over, what is it that attracts us to these devious delicacies? We are all aware of the problems they can create, that we will be worrying about having filling or pastry on our clothes, lips or teeth, wondering if one of our friends will discretely tell us, before we do the great faux pas and talk to someone really important with half a prawn stuck between our front teeth, or maybe a piece of spinach. So knowing the downfalls of vol au vents, why is it that when at a buffet, given a whole range of safe options we always, always but at least 2 or 3 on our plate? This is something I cannot answer at the moment, but I will make a big effort to find out.Do we really like them? Are we just being polite? Do we know how much effort goes into making them, so feel we should indulge? Are we just gluttons for punishment? Are we just gluttons? Or do we absent mindedly forget trouble we can get into eating one? Fannie Farmer doesn't appear to have any hints for eating one without making a mess.Perhaps that is taught in finishing school, with other lessons in etiquette. I will keep you posted
I wonder if this is considered treason. I won't wonder too much about it, I wouldn't mind a night in the tower. But if the worst comes to the worst I will plead my case, I wasnt really being disrespectful to someone who I don't really see the point of, I was just practicing html codes, and seriously, that picture was the first one I came across to use. Oh ok, well yes I did make the picture some time ago, so I can't blame anyone else, so if that makes me guilty, then I guess I am.
This isn't me either
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Happy new year to you all. Well, here's my first blog entry of 2004, better make it a good one, a significant one so to speak...
This isn't easy for me to do, but being the new year I think it is time for me to do so. I have frequented chatrooms for some time now, and I am always amused by the pictures some people put on their profiles. I mean, what on earth are those who look like supermodels doing tapping away at a keyboard in a yahoo chatroom. probably the same as those guys who say they have a 14" c***. I am sure if they had one so big they would be making adult movies not looking for a quick cyber sex session. But each to their own, if it boosts their confidence and self esteem :P. It does though, never cease to amaze me, the disproportionate percentage of supermodel looking girls in yahoo chatrooms, I would be surprised if there was any city or town anywhere in the world that has the same percentage of these 'perfect' glossy mag type people. Maybe they are out there walking around. It could just be that my perception of what is beautiful, varies, and so I do not notice them.
but I digress, back to the point, being aware of the many fake pictures and images people portray of themselves, and having seen how this can hurt others when they do eventually realise they have not been talking to angelina jolie for all these weeks, but instead have been chatting to nora batty or even worse compo, I feel it now time , to confess to something myself.
I had thought noone suspected, and hadn't fully considered how I may have been deceiving people.... until last night.... one of my friends read my blog .... it was then, after she made comment, that I knew I had to brace myself and write this post.
The picture which is titled this is me .... isn't really me, it is a cartoon figure, sometimes called a doll, it was made in a drag and drop site some time ago, and so is just a 2d image, its not me at all.
So, I have to apologise to anyone who has seen that picture and was under the impression that it is me. Can you forgive me?
PEZZIE
