Sunday, May 30, 2004

 

unconscious mutterings

well as you may have noticed I have not written much this week, I promise I will try harder next week
this weeks game
  1. Lover:: not a fighter
  2. Ridiculous:: me at times
  3. Oscar:: wilde
  4. Tennis:: match
  5. Account Balance:: minus
  6. Hickey:: shag badge
  7. License:: to kill
  8. Breathmints:: trying to tell me something?
  9. TexMex:: t rex
  10. Stepmother::snow white



as always you can play here

Sunday, May 23, 2004

 

unconscious mutterings

this weeks game
  1. Finale:: grand
  2. Martial arts:: not marital aids
  3. Flirt:: fun
  4. Energy:: saving
  5. Flavor:: of the month
  6. Guess?:: what. teapot
  7. Accomplishment:: achievement
  8. Prom:: queen
  9. Diploma:: certificate
  10. Bloody:: nora


you can play too, by clicking here
feel free to put your answers on this site, if you want.

Friday, May 21, 2004

 

scammer gets scammed

THE POWERBOOK





Want to know what these pictures are all about? Click on them to find out, its quite a long read, but enetertaining.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

 

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Playoffs:: relegation
  2. Morris:: dancers
  3. Break up:: kiss and make up
  4. Eggs:: benedict .... and stinky ass
  5. Parker:: pen
  6. Hardy Boys:: and nancy drew
  7. Deluxe:: edition
  8. Protection:: safer sex
  9. Girl Scout:: brownie
  10. Salsa:: dips


you can play too... click here... post it on this site if you have nowhere to put it, or you just want to put it here.

 

HA HA HA HA

I have been watching this for ages now, and it just does the same thing over and over, but it makes me laugh.
(I can't remember where I found it so i can't give credit where it is due... sorry)

Thursday, May 13, 2004

 

how much is your poo worth?

Poo-Price - you can calculate how much your poo is really worth
why not have a go?

 

DIAMOND GEEZER ...has new meaning

"Some people may think it morbid or gimmicky. That is their choice, we think it's wonderful"
Gayle Tandy

I just saw them mention this on a day time tv show... Richard and Judy... and tomorrow they will be doing a piece all about it. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, I had to come and find out about it for myself.
Gail went on to say
She said: "I miss dad every single day and I see having a part of his ashes made into a diamond as a way of keeping him close to me. Brian was a geologist and loved making jewellery from the stones he found so this couldn't be more of a fitting tribute."
A sample of Brian's ashes is currently in the US undergoing the six-month process needed to create the synthetic diamond.


During that process, the company says, the ashes are heated to produce graphite which is then placed into a diamond press and subjected to high pressures.
that would mean, if you couldn't afford the whole process to be carried out, or maybe you wanted something a little different, you could have your loved one turned into a pencil....... now that could be something to look into, especially if as an artist,you want to create something a bit Damien Hirsty and want to enter it for the turner prize, or maybe you could make them in to a set of graded pencils and have them boxed in a lovely lined case as a special present. I am sure the list is endless.
If you really want to read about it have a look here.It tells you about the process, the different styles, the price list, and comes with an endless supply of sycophantic sympathy.
plan ahead and book early, they probably do discount offers.
P.S. sorry if you are someone who has one of these diamonds, I hope it gives you comfort.


 

masturbation month.. how to massage pussy


Tuesday, May 11, 2004

 

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN.........


Invent a memory of me and post it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it's something that's never happened. Then post this in your journal so that people can invent memories for you, if you want to.


I got this idea from This Blog and she got it from Busy Mom Blog


So come on lets see how creative you can be.
Click comments wait for it to open another page, and I think you have to click again... I know lots of clicking, but it makes me happy...

Monday, May 10, 2004

 

I'd rather go blind

"I'm not weird or anything. I don't tie myself up first."
— T. Waits
"Entirely a self-taught skill."
— L. Ron Hubbard
"The good thing about it is that you don't have to dress up for it."
— Truman Capote
"When beating off is outlawed, only outlaws will beat off."
— Harold Palms
Rosie you're alright,
you wear my ring.
When you hold me tight,
Rosie, that's my thing.
When you turn out the light,
I've got to hand it to me -
It looks like it's you and me again tonight,
Rosie
— Jackson Browne
The best thing about it is that you don't have to talk afterwards
— Milos Forman to Kurt Vonnegut
So what are they talking about?

CELEBRATE
Ever wake up and think, whats the point, what do I have to celebrate? Ever wanted an excuse to indulge yourself? Ever thought some people have it much better than you? They always have a reason to party and celebrate? Ever wondered what the point of special days like national popcorn day, national hot dog day, national dentists day, is all about? Ever been made to think playing with yourself is bad? Well, if you have answered yes to one or more of these questions
May, May be your month
May Is International Masturbation Month

Some people prepare all year so they can indulge in the festivities.
If you still feel guilty, or have ever felt guilty, stop right now, you're not alone,
Lots of famous people are well known wankers... for example Tony Blair is often called wanker... and not only in private, it has been known for crowds of people to shout this at him in public, and he just grins back knowingly, also many footballers and other sports stars are called wanker, usually when they miss the ball.... indicating that maybe they are not very good wankers. Great British soap stars have also been named by Dirty Den as wankers.
When you think of wanking or masturbating.... which seems to make it sound less raunchy or dirty or taboo, do any of these phrases cross your mind?

or maybe one of these?
Doin' a loner with the heat-seeking moisture missile
Petting the plank
Knockin' over the zipper trout
Mangling the Thurmond
Wanking the pisser
Muffin buffin'
Itching the ditch
Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion
Fluffing the kitty
does none of these describe your games? why not try
The Random
Masturbation Synonym Generator

or have a look through this extensive list
still haven't found yours? well why not leave me a comment and tell us.
You might think masturbation involves just the genitals, but some people go further than that, some lucky ones do not even touch anything. Some people use objects to help their enjoyment along, these maybe inanimate, but sometimes they are living things, and don't be fooled into thinking it just involves genitalia.
Click here to read some rectal foeign body stories.




not quite sure what this was about


not content with just those picture?
click here to see or read what other people have used... and got stuck
caution..DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
Along with the use of objects or toys to help the moment along, some people use images, stories etc to set the mood.
use this tool ... the wankometer ...This machine enables you to measure the quantity of Management Wank in a piece of text or web page
or you can use this tool to check if you have adequate amounts of porn on your hard drive.

Clitical has lots of help and advice and information about masturbation and other things, its not porn, so zip your pants back up... unless words like clit, stimulate, vagina make you horny.

and I know it takes allsorts, I had a friend who caught her boy friend masturbating to the Fat slags.


Masturbation month can be celebrated with others... check here to read about MASTURBATE-A-THONCome for a cause.

However if you are trying to give up this might help you...
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
here are some other helpful points.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

you can read more of these self help tips here


HAPPY MAY TO EVERYONE!!!!!


 

unconscious mutterings...vagina

this weeks game
  1. Vagina:: monologues...if your vagina could talk what would itsay in 2 words
  2. Racism:: is vile, and should not be tolerated.
  3. Mother's Day:: is at different times in england and america.
  4. Fire alarm:: false alarm
  5. Elvis:: is alive and working in a chip shop in wigan
  6. Pregnant:: pause
  7. Vacation:: yes please
  8. Waffles:: birdssssssss eye potato waffflesssss wafflerlyyyy versatile
  9. Perpendicular:: line
  10. Hospital:: watch


you can play too by clicking here
whooooooo hooooooo blogger has a new look, but its too late now to have much of a fiddle with it, but it looks posh from what I have seen.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

 

Mole. Mole. Nice to mole you--er--nice to meet you. Moley, moley, moley."

"Mole. Mole. Nice to mole you--er--nice to meet you. Moley, moley, moley."
You so mole, I say ....... well what is it, what do you think when you see mole, or hear mole.... beautiful, individual, hairy, unsightly, distinguished???
Moles come in all shapes and sizes, there are those that are hardly noticable, there are those that need their own passport when you travel, there are those that obscur the view.
They lurk in different places, some unseen... well most of the time unseen



I am not sure what this second one is, although it was found in a google listing for moles

You can get hairy moles


In these situations I would suggest a light perm, not a spiral/corkscrew perm, which would be too harsh, and would look like you were wearing a sheep on your cheek, a few discrete highlights may work, but don't go for extremes like peroxide blonde or jet black, you could even style it into a little bob, but for heavens sake keep clear of the dreadlock look, this would look like some hippy back to their roots musician has taken residence on your person.
Some moles are small, some are NOT, some are so large they have their own map reference and page in mapquest.... one such mole is morocco mole.(friend of secret squirrel) There has been a sighting of a similar landmark close to canada.


If you have a mole that is rather prominent you may notice that others cannot look you in the eye, you may feel that peoples attention is drawn to your mole.... it may affect their interactions with you, Good Moling to you, they may say, how moles it today? and such phrases. This can be very distressing, and have adverse affects on the molee. As you can see here, in this next, rather, disturbing picture, the molee, felt that she no longer had need for her eyes, that peoples eyes were drawn to her 'feature' rather than her eyes, and she took the drastic action of having her eyes removed.

Just to highlight further the difference a mole can have on someones life, self esteem, self importance, take a look at these pictures, notice the difference to the over all appearance of the face when a mole is on it.




You could experiment with this at home, often studies are done where people try out and see what the environment would be like if they were 'disabled' they spend a day in a wheelchair, wear glasses to simulate different visual problems, well you can see what its like to have a mole, go to your cereal boxes, take out a cornflake or a sugar puff and glue it in a prominent place on your face, you may wish to use cocoa pops or bran flakes to add colour, or maybe even use felt tip pens to colour it in, you could glue on pieces of wool to make it more authentic, on the other hand you may wish to glue a pet mouse, gerbil, rat or other rodent to your cheek, I advise not to go larger than a toy poodle or a yorkshire terrier. As you do this notice the reaction you get from friends, colleagues, family, strangers, and spare a thought for those with a real mole.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

 

get your lips round a knacker sandwich or a fanny burger

Well we have read about things that might put you off having a drink, I mean how can you really enjoy something that makes you think vomit when you drink it?There are a whole load more things out there that might put you off eating or drinking them, or maybe the reverse is true, maybe you are one of those people who rush to the store for

Knackers on toast madam????
or maybe this is maybe more your taste for a lunchtime snack

not satisfied? Maybe this is more your cup of tea

or maybe this

Or this

fanny and a side salad please
you may of course think all that is just

maybe you prefer this

or this

not satisfied yet?Try this

or

you could swill it all down with this

You can see these and many more by clicking here.


 

VIMTO or a cup of fizzy sick?


Vimto is a smashing drink
so why not have a slurp
its full of fizzy bubbles
that will make your bottom burp


When i go clubbing
everyone just stares
cos I buy a can of vimto
and stuff it down my flares


click here to see the latest tv ad
it may take a while to download

or here to see some older ones

so are you wondering what vimto is? maybe you know? ever wondered how it is made?what goes into it? how it gets its taste?
Have you ever noticed that VIMTO is an anagram? Is it coincidence?
Is it purely by chance that rearranged the letters spell VOMIT??
on the subject of anagrams here are a few more
"Yasmin Le Bon" gives "Mainly bones" and
"William Shakespeare" gives "I am a weakish speller"
'Diet Coca Cola' gives: a cool iced act
'Diet Pepsi Cola' gives: is delicate pop
'Pepsi Max' is a sex pimp
BUT theres no getting away from it VIMTO is VOMIT
Thats all for now, cos I have forgotten what it was I really was going to write about, so i will be back a bit later when I have remembered.

 

Vimto is a smashing drink
so why not have a slurp
its full of fizzy bubbles
that will make your bottom burp


When i go clubbing
everyone just stares
cos I buy a can of vimto
and stuff it down my flares


click here to see the latest tv ad

 
well, I have been looking for a particular 'rate my ....' site, so far I havent come across it, but i have found some along the way, you might want to check them out and perhaps you might want to have yours rated ....
rate my

implants
mullet
kitten
picture
rack
face
fish
vomit
puppy
stang
ink
lawn and garden
gasmask
reptile
noise
rave
finger


Tuesday, May 04, 2004

 

click the picture to enter the world of the turds.

 
POO POO POO

I was a bit lost for something to write about today, well I have to admitI didn't give much thought, so maybe later today I will write something else, anyways I read on Lynns blog about pooh, and how anything containing poo amuses her. So I suppose my entry today is a bit of an entertainment thingy for Lynn.... you may have seen the sites where you rate peoples cuteness, ugliness, rate their bottom, or their boobs, give points out of ten for whatever quality they are asking you to rate.. well here is another one, that didn't take much of a rummage in the sewers of google to find ..rate my poo I do suggest, if you do not have a strong stomach, that you do not follow that link.
If you have a similar disposition to Lynn this will be amusing to you as well, if you don't, then you will think wtf!!!
POO
(Pythonic MOO)
What is POO?
POO is a Python program which operates similar to a MOO. A MOO is an object-oriented, live-coding MUD. A MUD is a multi-user dimension... Let's start again. POO implements a multi-user network virtual environment.
poo.py -- the POO engine
pooparse.py -- command-parsing module
poohelp.py -- help module
poodirect.py -- main program for use without sockets (i.e., connects POO directly to your console)
poosock.py -- main program for using POO as a server -- connect via TCP/IP
poo.dat -- core database
poohelp.dat -- help database
poohelp2html.py -- utility program for converting help database into HTML
Where can I discuss POO with other POOers?
There are now POO mailing lists for exactly this purpose
If you want to indulge yourself further and read about that, or follow the links and get poo files, just click here

there's also Yahpoo
well thats all for now, enough of this crap, back with a proper post later.

Monday, May 03, 2004

 
heres this weeks word game
  1. Sexy:: mutha f*****
  2. Clique:: in crowd
  3. Pledge:: furniture polish
  4. Carbs:: are yummy
  5. Dream Job:: vocation
  6. Sweeps:: take
  7. Soundtrack:: of our life
  8. Hero:: heroine
  9. Shave:: or wax
  10. Christina:: aquilera


as usual you can play by following this link... click here if you have no where else to post it, feel free to pop it in the forum on this blog.

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