Monday, May 10, 2004

 

I'd rather go blind

"I'm not weird or anything. I don't tie myself up first."
— T. Waits
"Entirely a self-taught skill."
— L. Ron Hubbard
"The good thing about it is that you don't have to dress up for it."
— Truman Capote
"When beating off is outlawed, only outlaws will beat off."
— Harold Palms
Rosie you're alright,
you wear my ring.
When you hold me tight,
Rosie, that's my thing.
When you turn out the light,
I've got to hand it to me -
It looks like it's you and me again tonight,
Rosie
— Jackson Browne
The best thing about it is that you don't have to talk afterwards
— Milos Forman to Kurt Vonnegut
So what are they talking about?

CELEBRATE
Ever wake up and think, whats the point, what do I have to celebrate? Ever wanted an excuse to indulge yourself? Ever thought some people have it much better than you? They always have a reason to party and celebrate? Ever wondered what the point of special days like national popcorn day, national hot dog day, national dentists day, is all about? Ever been made to think playing with yourself is bad? Well, if you have answered yes to one or more of these questions
May, May be your month
May Is International Masturbation Month

Some people prepare all year so they can indulge in the festivities.
If you still feel guilty, or have ever felt guilty, stop right now, you're not alone,
Lots of famous people are well known wankers... for example Tony Blair is often called wanker... and not only in private, it has been known for crowds of people to shout this at him in public, and he just grins back knowingly, also many footballers and other sports stars are called wanker, usually when they miss the ball.... indicating that maybe they are not very good wankers. Great British soap stars have also been named by Dirty Den as wankers.
When you think of wanking or masturbating.... which seems to make it sound less raunchy or dirty or taboo, do any of these phrases cross your mind?

or maybe one of these?
Doin' a loner with the heat-seeking moisture missile
Petting the plank
Knockin' over the zipper trout
Mangling the Thurmond
Wanking the pisser
Muffin buffin'
Itching the ditch
Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion
Fluffing the kitty
does none of these describe your games? why not try
The Random
Masturbation Synonym Generator

or have a look through this extensive list
still haven't found yours? well why not leave me a comment and tell us.
You might think masturbation involves just the genitals, but some people go further than that, some lucky ones do not even touch anything. Some people use objects to help their enjoyment along, these maybe inanimate, but sometimes they are living things, and don't be fooled into thinking it just involves genitalia.
Click here to read some rectal foeign body stories.




not quite sure what this was about


not content with just those picture?
click here to see or read what other people have used... and got stuck
caution..DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
Along with the use of objects or toys to help the moment along, some people use images, stories etc to set the mood.
use this tool ... the wankometer ...This machine enables you to measure the quantity of Management Wank in a piece of text or web page
or you can use this tool to check if you have adequate amounts of porn on your hard drive.

Clitical has lots of help and advice and information about masturbation and other things, its not porn, so zip your pants back up... unless words like clit, stimulate, vagina make you horny.

and I know it takes allsorts, I had a friend who caught her boy friend masturbating to the Fat slags.


Masturbation month can be celebrated with others... check here to read about MASTURBATE-A-THONCome for a cause.

However if you are trying to give up this might help you...
Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.
here are some other helpful points.
3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.
11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called _aversion therapy_. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

you can read more of these self help tips here


HAPPY MAY TO EVERYONE!!!!!


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